J.d.l.F.

Rare as is true love, true friendship is rarer. 

- Jean de la Fontaine -

punched.

It feels good to know that you have people in your life who really know you. who know things nobody else knows. it feels good to share secrets and pain.

and then there is this punch in your face. when other people tell you things you really hadn't wanted to know. things who might destroy future plans. but you have to keep your head up, smile and try. simply try. at least you know there is nothing you can lose, anymore.

- wow. weird, how optimistic one can be. amazing.

Julie & Max [part V]

Als es vor den großen Glasfenstern allmählich dunkler zu werden, saßen Julie und Max noch immer auf der Couch und betrachteten die Bilder, die auf Julie wirkten wie aus einer anderen Welt. Gespannt lauschte sie jeder Geschichte, ja, jedem Wort, das über Max' Lippen kam. Er hatte sie verzaubert mit seiner Leidenschaft, mit der er erzählte. Als sie sein Gesicht betrachtete, konnte sie erkennen, wie sehr er selbst vertieft war, in diese andere Welt eingetaucht, alles noch einmal durchlebend. Die guten und die schlechten Momente, die Tage am Strand, die atemberaubenden Ausflüge, aber auch die Krisen, Katastrophen und Verluste.
Seine Augen strahlten und er begann zu grinsen, Julie ebenfalls zu mustern, so wie sie es geistesabwesend getan hatte.
"Was?", fragte er irritiert grinsend, als keiner von beiden den Blickkontakt abbrach.
Julie spürte die Hitze in ihrem Gesicht. Seinen Blick, die Erkenntnis ertappt worden zu sein, das Grinsen in seinem Gesicht, das noch größer wurde und das Aufblitzen der tiefblauen Augen.
Ohne genau zu wissen, was sie taten, bewegten sich die Oberkörper der beiden aufeinander zu und Max legte seine Hand sanft an Julies Gesicht.
Ihr Puls überschlug sich und die blauen Augen kamen ihr immer näher, so nah, dass sie es fast nicht aushielt. Doch der Blickkontakt brach erst ab, als sie die Augen schloss und sich ihre Lippen Sekunden später berührten.

Part I

Part II

Part III

Part IV

tiffany who?

and all those conversations are the secrets that I keep though it makes no sense to me.

Julie & Max [part IV]

„Hier, bitteschön.“ Er reichte ihr ein großes Glas mit klarem Wasser und lächelte zurück. „Komm, du brauchst doch nicht stehen.“ Er führte sie aus dem Essbereich hinein ins Wohnzimmer. Durch die große Fensterfront hatte man einen wunderschönen Blick über den Garten und den Fluss im Tal. Der Raum selbst war in ein warmes Licht getaucht und wirkte in der frühen Herbstdämmerung unglaublich gemütlich. Ein großes Sofa befand sich an der Wand gegenüber der Fensterfront und ein großes Regal mit unzähligen Büchern sorgte in Julies Augen für noch mehr Gemütlichkeit.

„Setz dich.“ Max stellte sein eigenes Glas auf den Holztisch und bedeutete Julie es sich gemütlich zu machen, während er selbst auf das Regal zuging und im unteren Bereich begann zu suchen.

„Ist deine Familie unterwegs?“

„Ja, meine Eltern sind bei Bekannten und kommen erst am Dienstag wieder. Paul ist studieren und Philipp bei seiner Freundin.“

„Ah, okay.“ Also waren sie alleine. Das konnte ja interessant werden.

Max hatte eine große Kiste aus dem Regal gezogen und kam damit jetzt zum Sofa. Er stellte sie auf den Boden, ließ sich neben Julie auf das Sofa fallen und grinste sie an. „Und du willst das wirklich sehen?“

Julie war für die einbrechende Dunkelheit dankbar, aber grinste dennoch zurück. „Definitiv.“

„Dann mach dich auf was gefasst.“

Part I

Part II

Part III

Auf der Suche.

Was ich wirklich vermisse? Ich vermisse den Jungen, der mich in den Arm genommen hat, als ich geweinte habe wie noch nie zuvor in meinem Leben, und der mir sagte, ich solle nicht traurig sein, es würde alles wieder gut werden.
Und als ich in Todesangst erneut um ihn weinte, waren schon zu viele Wochen und Tage vergangen, sodass er meinen Namen kaum noch kannte. Und von meiner Angst um ihn erfuhr dieser Junge niemals. Nicht, bis zum heutigen Tag.

Aber noch hab ich den Glauben daran nicht verloren, dass dieser Junge, denn ich kennen und schätzen lernte und der viel zu selten sein wahres Gesicht zeigte, dass diese Person noch immer irgendwo hinter den strahlenden Augen zu finden ist.

hearts are not made for logical understanding.

You took my heart and you held it in your mouth. And, with a word all my love came rushing out. And, every whisper, it's the worst, emptied out by a single word. There is a hollow in me now.

So I put my faith in something unknown, I'm living on such sweet nothing. But I'm trying to hope with nothing to hold, I'm living on such sweet nothing. And it's hard to learn.And it's hard to love, when you're giving me such sweet nothing, Sweet nothing, sweet nothing. You're giving me such sweet nothing .

It isn't easy for me to let it go cause I've swallow every single word and every whisper. Every sigh eats away at this heart of mine. And there is a hollow in me now .

So I put my faith in something unknown, I'm living on such sweet nothing. But I'm trying to hope with nothing to hold, I'm living on such sweet nothing. And it's hard to learn. And it's hard to love, when you're giving me such sweet nothing, Sweet nothing, sweet nothing. You're giving me such sweet nothing .

And it's not enough to tell me that you care, when we both know the words are empty air. You give me nothing .

Sweet Nothing .
Sweet Nothing.

Because I will never learn it and never change it until you've destroyed it and me completely. Hearts are not made to understand something logically- they rather go with the feelings. And learning something in your mind doesn't mean your heart will know what to do, not after all.  

 I've just let these little things slip out of my mouth,
'cause it's you, oh it's you, it's you they add up to.
And I'm in love with you, and all these little things.

-1D-

 

changes - developments.

A question we have to deal with time and again in our lives is the one whether human beings are able to change. To - kind of - become somebody else, differ their character. It is a question millions of humans have already wondered about and will for ever. Books have been written by philosophers and psychologists. I, for myself, have found an answer I can live with.

We do not really change - we stay the same. Yet, each and every little event we go through in our life has an impact on who we are and how we act or appear to others. Some might be minor, others major. Still these impacts have an enormous power. They can transform us, change us in a certain way. They have the power to make a difference on how we behave - and they help us to develop ourselves. Through them our characters are formed, through them our souls break and are healed again. They make us who we are - and they help us develop, not only when we are young, but through all of our lifetimes.

Therefore nobody can actually change - not from one second to the other. But each and every one of us develops, every day, with every single experience. And due to those developments we are able to change.

Lessons of Life

When you are younger you might believe that life will be easier when you are older, when you are finally allowed to do all the things you have always dreamed about. But at a certain point you learn that life is becoming everything you can imagine - but not something which is easy. Life never will be easy. For nobody. But as we are getting older and wiser we learn to cope with its difficulties, learn how to live with our life.

Life also consists of relationships to others, logically. And opinions about other human beings can change rapidly. Where before has been no faith or reason for hope, because you might have given up on someone in a certain way, you can see light again after a minor incident. There can be hope again because you learn things about people you would never have thought. There can be hope after a hug or a few warm word.

But this hope does not necessarily mean, that the involved person shares your point of view. And this is one of the things that make life really difficult and disturbing and heart-breaking and simply make you dreaming about leaving and crying and shouting out loud. One of the hardest lessons we have to learn in life is that every one has his or her own mind and soul - and opinion. Some might be suprisingly warm-hearted while others are cold as ice. But we will not find out until we risk our heart and get to know those people - or at least try to.

London Calling - Once Again.

It feels so good, almost like returning home because you feel this longing and can smell the tube air already, see all the different people with unique stories, taste the chicken curry and the apple mango juice, already know all the great places you love.

and still. it's all so - new. because this time you'll be independent. you'll fly. you'll have to organize and talk more. you are hoping to talk more, get in touch with the locals. you'll be living in a different quarter, new end of the city. you'll be seeing new faces of the old city you love. and it will still be london. once again.

 but no matter what will happen, you know that there are people in this world who will always love you and help you and support you whatever you have done or are planning to do. it's those people who make our life a brighter one, our story a more glamourous one and our time on this planet an outstanding period of time. because ever single second with their love is worth more than thousand chambers filled with all the gold and diamonds of the world. they should know how important they are and how happy they make us without noticing. because with them, we don't need anything more. they make our day and transform us to be the happiest persons in the world. thank you from the depth of my heart.